a blog for class.

Tuesday, March 18, 2008

The Souls of Black Folk, by W.E.B. Du Bois: A Review



for my cultural theory in education class. will be back with regular posting jibber-jabber soon.

The way W.E.B. Du Bois writes is amazingly eloquent and rich while deeply intelligent and thoughtful. The back cover of his book (which you can read in full here) describes it as essential reading for everyone interested in African-American history and the struggle for civil rights in America, which excludes no one. Though most of us claim to be racism-free, I see traces of prejudiced legacy running through us that I do not wish to have and seek to eradicate but really do not understand. Some of the ideas that really stood out to me were the economic factors of the post-Civil War South, the influence of the New England schoolmarm, the true aims of education, race relations, and the question of the future and how we are going to get along in it.

At first I somehow missed the fact that TSoBF was first published in 1903, and wondered what Du Bois would say of today’s world and race relations. It seems like some of the race issues and what was going on in “black folks’ souls” have not changed drastically today, which perhaps is why I forgot it was written over a hundred years ago. I think our main problem today is still the color line. The legacy of the Freedmans’ Bureau (lawlessness and crime, page 24) continues to haunt the black image today, and the demoralizing camp life of the days following the Emancipation sound like a form of early ghettoism. Du Bois highlights for me some of the reasons why racism and prejudice against blacks remains so deep-seated and implacable even now in the 21st century, a sad state of affairs to say the least. Right from the beginning of the book, he clarifies the problems of poverty, bastardy (at the hands of white slave owners and lechers beyond 1865), the ballot and the school, and how “Negroes” (a term I have trouble using for obvious reasons in this day and age) had an abundance of the former and a serious deficit in equality of the latter. My white guilt cast a shadow over the pages as I read, wanting to weep for the injustices of the past, probably at the hands of my own ancestors. Nevertheless, the accomplishment of the Freedmans’ Bureau were impressive, mostly noticeably in the establishment of schools and enlisting help for the newly freed. I wondered briefly if any former slaves regretted their new-found liberty once the economic and legal oppression became even more starkly outlined as they attempted to live their lives (this thought resurfaced around pg. 110 as the author describes the daily life of the house servants, their intimacy and family ties with the family, and the consequences of the coming separation and class-forming of post-1865 life). What exactly is freedom, anyway?

“It is a hard thing to live haunted by the ghost of an untrue dream; to see the wide vision of empire fade into real ashes and dirt; to feel the pang of the conquered, and yet know that with all the Bad that fell on one black day something was vanquished that deserved to live, something killed that in justice had not dared to die; to know that with the Right that triumphed, triumphed something of Wrong…All this is bitter hard, and many a man and city and people have found in it excuse for sulking, and brooding, and listless waiting.” (48)

Du Bois is remarkable in that he draws his own life into his words but does not make the story about him. He cites politics through prose, and researches people to understand history, yet he does not demand specific actions, anarchy, or attitudes in response, nor does he attempt to justify or apologize for the past or present. He quietly asks through reason and passion for a revolution starting in the mind and the opening of it.

Another topic that Du Bois explores is the role of the New England schoolmarm—in the wake of national upheaval, these brave teachers educated a generation of ignorant people struggling to meet the outrageous demands of their new world. That image of the alphabet ringing out across the scorched fields will always stick with me. This made me feel a little better about myself, as I was a teacher myself, to know how important and vital the role of the educator was and is.

“To make here in human education that ever necessary combination of the permanent and the contingent—of the ideal and the practical in workable equilibrium—has been there, as it ever must be in every age and place, a matter of infinite experiment and frequent mistakes.” (57) Certainly this has bearing on our current situation of experimenting and mistake-making in educational policy-making and the state of public schools. More importantly, Du Bois stresses the true aim of education (and the real potential for learning) is through the interaction of human spirits, “the contact of living souls” (63), the developing of human reason, the sharing of stories and emphasis on the positive aspirations of mankind—certainly this should be our focus too as we educate children in today’s world of war, inequity, and prejudice.

Other chapters as Du Bois travels through post-war Georgia and comments on the lives and politics there reminded me of Gone with the Wind—a favorite book of mine since childhood, and a film I would watch with my mom whenever it was on TV. Romanced by the antebellum costumes and mansions and whatnot but somewhat ignorant as to the racial turbulence as a child, it was eye-opening to understand what was going on for black folk during this time. Margaret Mitchell presents a fairly accurate portrayal of the old South, garnered from conversations on porches with older folk who had lived through it, but older white folk. Another powerful book from this time period includes Roll of Thunder, Hear My Cry, told from the viewpoint of a young black girl in the rural South who watches her family struggle to keep their land as she herself experiences prejudice and racism at school and in town (two powerful social concepts Du Bois studies).

Another well-expressed concept is Du Bois’ approaches to studying race relations. Citing physical proximity, economic and political factors, intellectual contact and commerce, forms of everyday social contact, and religious enterprise as the six elements of race relations, he teases apart what this really means for a turn-of-the-century black American. Here again I hear echoes of 21st century American turmoil—the alignment of locations of homes to economic status allow for the worst of both races to see each other. There was some serious and illegal screwing-over of voiceless minorities, which we see today as well. Political activity, both then and now, seems to do little to seriously help blacks, or really anyone who was not white and rich. “So flagrant became the political scandals that reputable men began to leave politics alone, and politics consequently became disreputable.” (105) As Du Bois says on the next page, there is no way of telling how much one will be taxed, how the taxes are used, who makes such laws and how, who enforces them and how, etc. In 105 years, is that so far gone from our current system of government? The same can be said for the reasons and perspectives Du Bois cites for increases in black crime and the consequences of creating a jail culture in a seriously inequitable class society. We see similarities again in school funding along racial lines, now and then. In 1903, the author called for “a union of intelligence and sympathy” as the only real way to preserve the justice of the Republic—two things I unfortunately do not believe enough Americans possess in great quantities.

Du Bois turns from politics and economics in his last chapters on religion (The Preacher, The Music, and the Frenzy), the joyous birth and tragic death of his infant son, Alexander Crummell, the sorrow songs, and the confusions of John Jones as he attempts to make sense of the North, South, and subordination, eventually becoming a teacher. This conversation summed up my final thoughts best:

“John,” she said, “does it make everyone—unhappy when they study and learn lots of things?”
He paused and smiled. “I am afraid it does,” he said.
“And, John, are you glad you studied?”
“Yes,” came the answer, slowly but positively. (149)

Saturday, March 8, 2008

The Mosquito



About a month ago, I heard about this invention called The Mosquito on the BBC (which I listen to in the morning to make myself feel like a grownup). Designed to repel the hoodies of London, it emits a high frequency squeal which the ears of the young alone can hear. I made a mental note to write about this ridiculousness and then laziness set in, so I had to convince myself that it wasn't that good of a post idea. Then it was on the local news tonight, so I had to take it as a sign. However, that's really all I have to say about it. The Mosquito. What asshole kid-haters came up with this? I guess I can understand wishing to be rid of obnoxious adolescent customer-frighteners, but is treating them like animals the way to do it? Kids, if you haven't noticed, are both dumb and smart at the same time. The common sense that comes with experience hasn't manifested itself yet, so they say ridiculous things like "I wanna get married when I'm 18 and have 5 babies but I don't wanna go to college or have a job." You were a kid once. Didn't you think dumb things too? I know I did. But that's another post.

What kids do have is a much firmer grip on the influx of technology and new media, whereas older folks grapple to multi-task between the cell, Internet, their inhalers, GPS, PDAs, canes, car keys, pagers, Ipods, and dentures. Yet it's harder for a rich person to get into heaven than it is for an informed educator working from a socio-constructive framework to get permission to show a film in their language arts class. Behold, the myth of effective education being fun holds sway. Talking must be naughtiness. They must sit in their desks and take multiple-choice tests and be graded and ranked like so many freshly slaughtered pounds of beef.

Ahem. Sorry. I am working on a lit review of using film as a pedagogical tool, and am still bitter about not being allowed to show Roots in my class a few years ago (I did anyway, so eat a turd, Principal), despite my arduous linking to TAKS objectives.

Getting back to the mosquito, I am prepared to award a mysterious prize to someone who can give me the best way to use the Mosquito for evil and not good (depending on where you stand). A few British kids already figured out how to make it into an adult-proof ringtone. How can we use this insulting device to further turn the tide in the anarchist's favor? And for those of you who insist kids are awful and evil (although I agree with you from time to time), let me remind you that it starts like this:


but it comes from watching adults do this:


If I have not convinced you that the Mosquito is stupid and will only serve to widen the gap between authority and those struggling against it in search of their own, you can buy one here.

Tuesday, March 4, 2008

Picturas

A hippie with bright pink hair let me hold her pit puppy at Maria's Sunday morning. His name is Rowan, and he made my heart fluttery when he licked my face and nipped my fingers. The others are from Bull Creek where I've been hiking nearly everyday. Sorry for the poor quality, they're with my cell camera. I've yet to convince someone to buy me a new digital. Donations are welcome.


Photobucket - Video and Image Hosting


Photobucket - Video and Image Hosting


Photobucket - Video and Image Hosting


Photobucket - Video and Image Hosting




Photobucket - Video and Image Hosting




What else? My horoscope, that's what: Cary Grant said he didn't necessarily advocate making love constantly. "Who can do it all the time?" he asked. "Though I do try." Your assignment in the coming weeks, Scorpio, as revealed by the astrological omens, is to attempt what Grant aspired to do: Do the wild thing as much as possible. Get busy before breakfast on the kitchen table and on your midmorning break in the closet. Duck out of work early so you can get your freak on. Get a hundred more strokes and licks and kisses in before bedtime. Et cetera. And if you don't have a lover to help you out in the noble cause, then boink the wind, screw the sky, hump your dreams, make love to the universe.

That's an astrological assignment I can get behind.

Tuesday, February 26, 2008

my lovely lady lumps


"Lump" is on the top 5 list of frightening words, along with "audit," "alone," "root canal," and "rehab." A few months ago I felt a lump in my right breast, which is sizable. I'm not saying that to brag, but merely to emphasize the time involved in doing monthly self-exams when you're rockin double D's. It was very, very scary. Smallish mass sort of by my armpit. Normally I try to make a joke about something scary, but nothing came to mind. Next time I went to Planned Parenthood (since I had no health insurance at the time), I mentioned it. Sure enough, the very nice and motherly psuedo-doctor affirmed it in a tone that sounded like we had both seen the sailboat in the magic eye picture. My eyes immediately welled up, and the nice lady became even more motherly as she tried to reassure me it was probably nothing (it was that probably that rang out louder than a freight train carrying howler monkeys wearing neon). She brought out the fake boobie encased in nylon with cancerous and non-cancerous bumps in it and showed me the difference--cancer feels hard like a pebble, doesn't move around under your skin, and doesn't hurt. She imagined it was probably just fibrocystic tissue, just a benign dense mass. Nevertheless, she advised me to come back in a month to check it again.

I cried everyday for the next few days. We have great genes in my family--no cancer, no heart disease, no diabetes. Just alcoholism and manic depression, but who doesn't have that? I was constantly terrified that cancer was forming inside me, that my nieces and nephews would have to go to their aunt's funeral in their teens, that my parents would lose a child. That I'd have to go through chemo, lose my hair, lose my friends and boyfriend--they wouldn't want to stick around and watch me suffer. That it was my fault, for smoking and drinking when I knew I shouldn't. I told a few close friends, not my family. I thought I might die, or lose my breasts (which are fantastic). Luckily I got a job through UT a few weeks later that provided insurance so I took the opportunity to visit UT Health Services, where the whole ordeal was repeated: disrobing, probing, and crying. UTHS's lady was uber-nice as well, and explained that fibrocystic tissue (which is what it still appeared to be) can form from too much caffeine, and to cut it out completely while still doing regular exams. She went on to say, "You should soap yourself up in the shower with your hands so you get a feel for what your breasts feel like." To which I wanted to reply, "what is this, a porno? I know what my breasts feel like, lady, quit hitting on me." The jokester in me had started to return. To further allay my fears, she suggested I get an ultrasound and hooked me up with a radiologist. By this time, the fear was subsiding somewhat, but I was also a little sad--I had figured when I was 28 and getting an ultrasound, it'd be on my pregnant belly, not my possibly sick breast. I blinked back tears (much as I'm doing now) as the radiologist squirted warm liquid goo on me and tried to make small talk with me about tattoos and ultrasounds and cancer. I just stared at the ceiling and trying to breath, tears squeezing out the corners of my eyes. Results came back--everything seems ok. Keep cutting out the caffeine.

My point in telling you this extremely personal information is to express what fear can do to you. I pushed people away, picked fights with my boyfriend, and literally paralyzed myself with a hypothetic fear. After cutting out caffeine and switching birth controls, the mass went away, and my fear (for the most part) did too. Then I felt like a fucking coward, considering what other women have actually endured. How they lived through a real thing, a horrible thing. How they live with an actual fear, and carry on anyway--head high.

So ladies, don't ignore your shit, don't think it can't happen to you, and don't drink Starbucks doubleshots nonstop everyday. They're too expensive and corporate anyway. But most of all, don't be scared.

Monday, February 25, 2008

A Moment of Kickass


Rarely have I ever cheered for anything other than the Bears on TV. I dislike game shows as a rule. I'd much rather watch a comforting episode of Seinfeld than Escape from Whore Island or Are You Smarter Than a Retarded Kid. Shit, even 2 1/2 Men (a terrible parody of Charlie Sheen, performed by Charlie Sheen) provides decent white noise to study by. But tonight, dear readers, I cheered. I whooped. I jumped to my feet. Let me explain.

I've expressed my cynicism about A Moment of Truth before, knowing it was sure to be pure spectacle of people ruining their and others' lives in the name of the money pyramid. Great ratings, but a sad aftertaste. From what I can gather, there are various levels of questioning ranging from mildly embarrassing to world-shattering--the farther you go, the more money you get. One's truthfulness is measured by polygraph, which basically judges bodily reactions between first and second answers of questions. So they know what questions they'll be asked, having already answered them once. Slightly ineffective--polygraphs aren't admissible in a court of law, but Fox don't give a shit.

Ok. So I caught the last few minutes after class, just as some bleached blond answered a question asked by her ex-boyfriend as to whether or not she would get back with him and subsequently leave her husband. All three of these people looked to be in their early 20's, which is IMHO, too fucking young to get married. Obviously the answers was going to be yes, but Sis helped Blondie out by pushing the buzzer--the one-time get out of jail free button. The crowd booed. Blondie could have walked with 10K, but she decided to keep going--apparently this couple had already shared their wedding/honeymoon experience, during which Blondie confessed to being in love with another man. The next question looked suspiciously like the last one (and also asked by her ex): Do you think I'm the man you should be married to? Answer: Yes. Ouch. Fuck. Next question: Have you had sexual relations with other men while married? Her poor hubbie (a cop who met Blondie while arresting her for stealing from her workplace) encouraged her to just keep going--what's the point of stopping now when you can get $150K for both his nuts? Honesty's the best policy, right? So in front of God, Fox, her family and everybody, she said....yes, she had. The crowd clapped, what for I'm not sure.

So here's the Best Part. Two questions to that chunk of money, all secrets out of the bag at this point, nothing left to lose, she wants to continue. The question is: Do you think you're a good person? In that second, I changed my mind about Fox and this show, at least temporarily. Her answer, unbelievably, was yes. The pleasant disembodied voice reported: "That answer is.....false." FUCK YEAH!!! YEAH YEAH YEAH!!! OH YOU STUPID BITCH!!! HA HA HA HA HA HA HA!!!! Blondie's face fell. Her lip quivered. Her eyes got teary. She clearly was in disbelief that she, after cheating on and lying to her husband, was in fact NOT a good person. The fucking kicker was that she herself knew or believed deep down that she wasn't. She left with NO money, which is slightly sad--divorces are expensive.

Friday, February 22, 2008

We like those driving behind us to know our political views.


The current state of things:
- both my bedroom and closet light bulbs burnt out today.
- I have a heat rash on my belly.
- I really need to stop drinking so much.

Turn your sound on so you can listen to Nas. Trust me, it syncs up nicely with the videos of Bush dancing below.

Sex, politics, and religion tend to bring out the most interesting discussion. Since I've already dedicated time to sex and religion, I'll give you my thoughts on the debate the other night, which took place at UT where I go to school.

I consider myself an Obamacan, despite my cynical questioning of the possibilities of Real Change. But Hillary's opening statement was off the fuckin chain, and he never seemed to regain his rhythm. She sat there and smirked her evil dragon smirk and thought about eating babies while he stumbled disjointedly through somewhat non-specific answers. Maybe I'm being too harsh about Hillary, but here's the thing--I can't let go of the notion that maybe, maybe, this is a revenge thing. Stay with me--first, do we really want a woman who can't handle her man handling the country? I'm just saying. I know that's unfair, but still. Second, what if she's just running so she can get some grudge nookie from some hapless intern? Then and only then will she and Bill truly be even.

I'm only half serious here. Unbundle your undies.

I think it's unfortunate how scrutinized the candidates are on their tone, gestures, facial expression, word choice, etc., this after weeks and months of traveling, pressure, and little sleep. Some analysts on NPR were discussing Hillary's praise of Obama this morning, how she said she was honored to be running against him. Was this sincere? Is she admitting defeat? Is she manipulating us by being nice and positive one second and letting the bitch trickle out in the next?

The famous Xerox zinger. BOOOOOO! Go think about intellectual property. All of you.


Do I think Obama might possibly get assassinated? Yes. We have a bad history with strong black leaders. Is John McCain a reanimated zombie? Yes. He has an even better chance of dying in office, but of old age. Does Ron Paul look like a muppet? Lil bit. So as you can see, I'm unsure as to who the new leader of the free world should be. In the meantime, I'm glad to see GWB is holding shit down:


Apparently the rhythm Barack had misplaced in Austin had gotten Bush again in Liberia.


Anyway, tonight I went with Mama Christie and her man to the Manchaca Fire Dept. Friday Night All You Can Eat Catfish Fry Spectacular Bonanza Jubilee. That's not the real name. They've been doing this for decades. I was nice to go to a family-oriented function for once--6th St. got old a long time ago for me. It's a similar vibe to the Friday night spaghetti dinner in my hometown, or a cajun boil, or a Mexican potluck (which my mom said they had at her school today, which I think is funny cause I don't think any Mexicans go to that school). Lots of picnic tables, a good ole boys country band made up of men whom my father is starting to resemble, kids zooming around on Heelies and old school trikes, old folks, young folks, a tin roof and a concrete floor, and all the catfish, hushpuppies, beans, slaw, and french fries you can eat or fit on a plastic plate for $10.95.

My belly is full and itchy.

Wednesday, February 20, 2008

Maila

Dear Maila,

My mom called me this morning and told me that you had passed away. I felt relief, because I knew someone as vibrant as you hated life stuck in a nursing home and dealing with MS in your late 30's. I felt anger all over again, remembering the last time I saw you a few years ago when I was home--it was Homecoming, and our whole small Midwestern town turned out for the parade of tractors, girl scout troops, veterans, and the high school band. You were in a wheelchair by then, and I could see the injustice and worry in your eyes. I remembered you as a little girl when you were friends with my older sister--you were the weird sorta hippie girl on the block. I remembered you when you were my English teacher in high school, still sorta weird and hippie. You pretended not to notice when Julie and I would take hours to bring back film from the store for journalism class, knowing we were just doing normal high school skipping stuff. Then you came to do my observations when I student taught, five years later. Oddly, that's my job now, that's what I'm doing. I thought about how you did it. You had a walker-type thing by then, and you bravely smiled your crazy smile as we took the elevator up to my classroom, and I didn't know what to say. After I moved away, I'd hear about you from time to time, my mom worked in the same school your daughter goes to. Your husband wasn't the most well-thought-of person in town--you know how small towns are. I wondered how often your financial worries crowded your thoughts, how your family would be ok without you, even as your body continued to imprison you. I hope the last days weren't too hard for you--you never deserved any of this. You were only 39 fucking years old. I wonder what you could have done if MS had never knocked at your door and forced its slow way in. Great things, I know. I got you.

I am so sorry.

Update: Mom's email from today:
I just had to tell you what just happened. I was talking to Maila’s daughter, Roane, and she told me about her mom dying on Tuesday. So I told her that her mom had helped my daughter be a teacher, and Roane said that her mom is still teaching. (Maila had her body donated for research.) She said she was going to Iowa City, and maybe she would help people find a cure for MS.