where have all the real women gone?

Query--from whence does this bevy of "reality" shows featuring ignorant, uncouthe brats come? Oxygen Channel, you're on my list. At last count, there was Bad Girls Club (which is apparently going to be a new game, sort of like Sims), various Real Housewives of Wherever Rich Bitches Live, Rock of Love Charm School (aka Who Wants to be the Next Carrier of Bret Michael's STDs), Pretty Wicked, The Bachelor, Top Model, Girls of Hedsley Hall, uhhh...I know there's more but those are off the top of my head, and I don't watch any of these shows. I revile them. I miss the way women were portrayed and the example they set with the shows I grew up with: Carol Burnett, Jennifer from WKRP, Wonder Woman, Charlies' Angels, Mary Poppins, Claire Huxtable, etc. These women had class, sex appeal, and intelligence. They were independent and put their men in their place as needed, and didn't waste time doing and saying stupid things. To watch tv today, you'd think the most obnoxious, shrill idiot in the room with the least flattering outfit was something to aspire to. I don't like it. Not at all.

Runners up on my shit list:

The creditreport.com guy

I don't want these jerkfaces thinking they're a real band just because they sing in about 5 annoying commercials.









- This guy, from operacion repo.
I understand why you'd hire a big huge dude to take cars away from people who don't pay their bills, what I don't get is why you'd hire a juiced up antagonistic jerkoff with a trigger temper to interact with people who are more than pissed that they're losing their cars. Seems like a recipe for disaster and lawsuits.








Come back soon for more on Mary Poppins and why it's the perfect movie for everyone to watch right now.

A little Easter haiku for you:
Post church, on Easter
Honey needs cold medicine
I hear Heart playing.

I love Heart, by the way. I've posted it before and I'll post it again--I dare you to watch for 1 minute and not sing along. This is what I mean about real women...

Live and let die

can you see the frog and the horsie?

An actual conversation I had the other night with someone who will remain anonymous:
"what? *long pause* what?!"
"I said what I wanted to say, why are you saying what?!"
"Because I didn't hear you! That's what people say when they didn't hear you!!"
"Shut up!!!!"

Idiocracy is on, I don't know if you've seen it. It's to me almost on the sci-fi edge of comedy, meaning it features scenarios that may be possible in the future--20,000 Leagues under the Sea was considered crazy sci-fi when it first came out in 1954, yet monstrous squid are now ubiquitous. There are more such movies here , as compiled by Popular Mechanics. But what I'm saying is, 10 minutes into Idiocracy when the rapidly-growing and twisted family tree of losers is explained, I wasn't laughing even though it was funny.

The future of health care:


I don't think it's that far outside the realm of possibility that a Bush-driven country could soon be putting Gatorade on crops and letting garbage mountains assemble. And I'm not going to expound on the politics of the situation--living in Lubbock has taught me it's a breath-wasting, migraine-gathering endeavor to argue Democracy in West Texas. The Republican vibe seems to have tinged the TV tonight--the roast of Larry the Cable Guy with big ol' Toby Keith is on next week. And again, I'm not trying to ruffle conservative feathers--you're allowed to think whatever you want. I'm just sayin, your head dog Rush Limbaugh doesn't know the difference between the Constitution and the Declaration of Independence--literally.

It's interesting as a person with a specific background and knowledge set replete with beliefs, attitudes, and whathaveyou watching the world try to reconcile differences and make plans for the greater good while remaining civil. One is bound to overtly or covertly impose their own attitudes as to right and wrong, sensible and idiotic. It seems like those most uninformed are most comfortable in crucifying those those don't share their views. In a loosely related example--I was in the 7th circle of hell (walmart) and saw an Obama shirt with a picture of him being sworn in with the quote "So Help Me God." It made me look at it carefully, my head cocked like the RCA dog. If I'm reading this right, this is a hater shirt saying he's in such deep shit that God better help him, heh heh. Nice attitude, people. For the rest of you haters who can't really make it clear to the rest of us why you think the end of an era of errors and downright criminality is a bad thing, I direct you to this site, which will allow you to pick a reason to not support Obama.

Anyway.
Some things too many people don't know enough about:
- NPR
- The Bronte's
- cobble-stone downtown roads
- Principato Rosato
- Eastbound and Down
- kickball
- Zero 7
- my carrot cake

Shh, Ghost Whisperer is on.

Mary Murphy needs to be put down. The woman screeches louder than my inner child during church. Not that I've been to church in a while. But I have spent hours theorizing and puzzling sitting on the picnic table in the backyard. And that's where it counts.
I apologize for the listyness of my posts as of late. I've sifted through dense, heavy matter for months and years, and can no longer make sweeping points and thematic texts. I feel like skimming the surface, occasionally touching down but mostly flying.
My cat just took a swing at my roommate's cat---HHHHSSSS. Cats are slightly unearthly. I await excitedly for the OE to arrive with my white people Chinese food, and lament over my cable-less-ness. Friends is unfunny, always. The damn remake 90210 commercials are starting to brainwash me to the point where I actually kinda want to see the damn show.

This is my new house:
I heart it. It needs a little work, but I don't mind.
So cute.

I met my friends out on Wednesday at Maudie's, a Tex-Mex place on S. Lamar. After getting lost around Annie Street and then choosing to stay lost to aw over the sweet houses, I came late and just before the tail pieces of Dolly blew in some hot rain. The noise it made on the tin roof sounded like what I imagine leaving sounds like. In a good way. A ready way. The power went out and we switched from frozens to beer, sweating and laughing til it returned an hour later.

That rain brought out the frogs. Toads, rather. They looked too much like the frogs I picked out of a jar of formaldehyde yesterday for my biology class to dissect, all looking upward at me through covered eyes, arms and legs akimbo. About half of them (the kids) bailed after a scissors was required to cut through the sternum, but the remaining ones enfused their pull towards a career in doctoring by examining structures and seeing how things work.

Anyway.

If you can watch all of this video featuring a woman wearing what appears to be a Hefty bag and singing her own "hit" "song," "Hairdresser," I'll give you $10.

What the hell, Charmin?

What the hell, Charmin? Am I supposed to think a post-shit bear would be wiping his entire bear ass and getting bits of TP stuck to it? And am I supposed to worry about this happening to me and hence buy Charmin to avoid this embarrassing situation? Gah. Just horrible and ineffective. These commercials make me physically uncomfortable.

cause Momma said so

Recent thoughts

1. People with Wii's: don't sue Nintendo for busting your new fancy tv's because you can't hold on to your gamepiece. Just hold on tighter.

2. If the amount of documentation, paperwork, and frustration needed to travel abroad were necessary to get married and people could travel as easily as they could get married, we'd all be a lot better off. Think about it.

3. Wipeout--you piss me off. You're a horrible excuse for an American version of MXC which should never have been touched. On MXC, the games are clever and funny, the contestants are authentic and casually-dressed (and arranged in ironic teams, such as the Organ Donors vs. the Recovering Addicts), and the commentary is rapid-fire English innuendo-laden frivolity that fits seamlessly with Japanese-inspired behavioral hilarity. You just have an impossible, uninspired obstacle course and idiotic contestants with no soul. The play-by-play is unnecessary at best and insulting at worst. Jim Henson, I'm especially disappointed in you.
See the difference?


4. Not to sound self-righteous, but there may just be an 8th circle of hell for those of us who peruse celebrity gossip with the zeal that Rachel Ray attacks her food. There are a lot more important things going on. I'm not saying I'm an expert on these things, but I did say "wow" a few times while Crissy explained the conflict between Palestine and Israel to me, and what might happen if she moves there soon given the US's pendulum swing back to being a non-war country. In a related story, we're running out of land to grow food for all of us on. If we keep going like this, we're gonna be cutting into more rainforest and opening a big can of land ownership issues, in addition to the already-present concern of oxygen supply. 2/3rds of the world's violent conflicts are over land issues. Lot of politics involved. Seems like we have an awful lot of dance/talent/singing/whore competitions going on media-wise (watching my non-cable tv, it seems that way)...

5. I found a sweet little house in L-town for me and honey. Less than 3 weeks til I move...

6. The question of mercy--Does Susan Atkins, killer of pregnant actress Sharon Tate and others in 1969 under the possible brainwashing of Charlie Manson, deserve early release after 37 years in prison, longer than any other female prisoner? She has a few months to live, brain cancer, one leg amputated and the other paralyzed. It costs an awful lot to house a prisoner--1.4 mil so far. Nephew of victim Jason Sebring said, "To sum up these murders in terms of cost efficiency trivializes the victims' lives, and the lifelong impact on the victims' families...there's discussion of dying with dignity.... the notion of dying with dignity is not determined by circumstance, but determined by choice," he told the panel. "Mrs. Atkins should die with dignity while serving out her sentence. My uncle died with dignity in the worst possible situation." It's a tough question. What do you think?

7. Baseball, I hate thee. You are pre-empting my Simpsons. They're playing the first season.