this and that

I don't really have internet anymore. I could surf at work but I don't really have time and would get in trouble anyway. I can piggyback off my neighbors illegally, but I still can't connect on my Dell, just Honey's. So I haven't been able to visit my "online communities" as often I did as a grade student who worked strange hours and read too much and was too often all up in her head. It's been rather freeing. Yet there has been some writing bubbling up for a while.

Having a house of all wood floors, I have to sweep a lot. I got one of those Swiffer WetJets and that works fairly well, except the pads come in 12 packs and cost $5. I need four to do the whole house. So I was thinking as I did it the old fashioned way (mop + floor spray), Swiffers are for lazy people anyway. Then I started thinking about how and why and when we realized we needed such a product, as handy as it is. In the olden days there weren't even floors, be they wood or carpet or what have you. I suppose at some point the introduction of the broom was somewhat radical, and many a back was saved--I know from reading Victorian literature that prior to this point it was hands, knees, and grumbling. Like in Cinderella. So after that,the dustpan was a godsend when you got tired of sweeping the home hearth's dirty all the way to your crewdly-hewn door. THEN after the grime of the Industrial Revolution had settled, we went through a few wars and cars got really big and awful track housing suburbian hell popped up like idential kernals of gabled, picket-fenced corn. Rugs crawled out to the corners and walls and became carpet. Now our workspaces as "traditional females" (where the production of food happened and the cleaning of shared spaces occurred) became more defined and borered. Enter the Swiffer, ideal for cleaning the faux-wood finish of your Americana decor kitchen. You don't have to bend over or strain of anything.

In any case, Titanic is on. Not to be confused with the "original." That's right, before Kate Winslet sweat all over a prepubescent Leo DiCaprio (who wins my respect and possibly my undies with his acting in The Departed years later--What's Eating Gilbert Grape was also great but affected me in a very different way), there was another Titanic. The ending? Same. I'm watching it now, and decided to do a little research. There were actually over a dozen versions made since 1912.

A conversation with Adam while he was up in Chicago visiting David:
"HELLO?!" he screams over a loud racket of drunk people.

"WHAT'RE YOUUUUU DOING??" I yell back, as it seemed like the thing to do.

"DAVID JUST LEFT ME ON A BUS!!"

"WHAT ARE YOU DOING ON A BUS??"

"NO, I'M IN A BAR, DAVID LEFT ON A BUS!! HE LEFT ME ON A BUS!!"

"WHY DID HE LEAVE ON A BUS??"

"WE WERE JUST WALKIN...AND...UH..HE SAID LETS GET ON THAT BUS AND STARTED RUNNING, AND I SAID, HE'S NOT GOING TO GET ON THAT BUS, AND...ow!...ALL OF A SUDDEN HE'S BANGING ON THE WINDOWS OF THE BUS AT ME AS IT GOES BY, AND I COULDN'T...I COULDN'T GET ON THAT BUS SO I'M IN A BAR!!"

I tried not to laugh. It was 5:30 in Chicago.

"WHAT BAR?"

"I DON'T KNOW!!"

"CALL HIM!!

"HE WON'T ANSWER THE PHONE!!"

"DUDE!!"

"WHAT??"

"I CAN'T HEAR YOU AND MY THROAT IS GETTING SORE FROM YELLING, GOOD LUCK!"

Windy Shitty

real eyes realize real lies

Hey kids.
I'm still in Chicago, but don't feel like talking about it. The Shining's on Sci-Fi and I have cool pictures from my night out...

On an unrelated note, I've noticed that in addition to becoming more claustrophic the older I get, the more conspiracy theories I develop. For your perusal:
1. Birth control is supplied by the government and designed to keep womankind down. Yeah we don't get preggers, but we also get crazy-hormonal, thereby unable to accomplish the shit we really need to address to stand on an equal footing.

2. America has screwy priorities because we don't have royalty but instead celebrity. Unlike royalty, celebrities don't have any obligation to act in a noble or decent way, nor to give/plan/help anything or anyone. They just make excessive amounts of money and act like assholes, because all we care about is what they look like on the red carpet or who they're dating.

3. The public school system (by and large) doesn't give much of a shit about minority education--we only care when we need a systematic form of training minorities like for the army or the Industrial Revolution. Public school culture is white middle class culture--other forms of literacy or knowledge aren't accepted. That's really too bad, as we could learn a lot from other people.

4. There's no such thing as "the one." It's statistically impossible given the number of people on this planet, a dumb white-dress fantasy perpetuated by romantic comedies. There is, though, love. Not to be mushy, but I think it is the driving force behind everything truly good, and occasionally for some unlucky people, bad. See #8.

5. The moon landing happened. It did. Get over it. And there are UFO's. There might not be aliens (or ghosts for that matter) but to assume we're alone in the universe is naive. To assume ANYTHING is naive.

6. Recidivism rates for educated (while incarcerated) prisoners vs. non-educated is much, much lower, but our current attitude towards prison reforms is one of retribution and punishment. Which I agree with--do the crime, do the time. But why not educate people while they're locked up and give them some skills for when they get out? Not just vocational but personal too. It would take time, money, organization, and a lot of research and devotion, but would pay off big time--we spend a shitton of money on incarcerating and releasing people, many of whom end up right back in the slammer cause they can't cope when they get out.

7. Karma is real. It makes sense, and it happens. Organized religion on the other hand have served as a vehicle for some of the worst crimes on humanity, primarily at the hands of rich white men. There is a God, and He is not pleased with that shit.

8. This isn't really a conspiracy theory: there are precious few things that really matter in life. Money, status, looks, etc are not among them. And to be honest, no one ever guaranteed you'd be happy--you gotta make your own happy. You were never promised a rose garden. As time itself is a waste of time, only dumb people waste it on the unimportant shit, and the even dumber people don't even know what the unimportant shit is.

So suck on that.

Be back soon.