Josh: This is Josh, may I help you?
Me: Hi Josh, hey I'm getting hassled to start paying my student loans already and I just graduated a month ago. Can you people give a girl a break?
Josh: Hm, ok, let's see what's going on there.
*typical identity and account verification process*
Josh: well it seems that you have a consolidated loan.
Me: Uh huh?
Josh: So when you consolidated loans, you forewent the grace period of 6 months post graduation.
Me: I did?
Josh: Yes, I'm afraid so.
Me: I forewent it?
Josh: It's foregone.
Me: Damn. Well, here's the situation, Josh: I have a buttload of money coming to me later this month, but right now I'm making 10 smackers an hour for 10 to 25 hours a week.
Josh: Ooch.
Jen: Yah. I just finished my masters last month, and I have a big girl job, but I'm not starting until Aug. 3 or 4. And I'm moving. And I have another job, like for 3 weeks, a summer job, in July for this company _________________. So like I said, a buttload of money, but none right now.
Josh: I see. And are you receiving any government assistance?
Me: I wish.
Josh: Ha ha. Ok. Let me put you on hold while I run some numbers and see what kind of assistance we can offer.
* seven minutes of hold music, during which I again lament the stupidity of the bunion commercial. "Do you have a bunion?" "Would you even know if you did?" "A bunion is a painful, bony bump on the foot." Well then, yes, I think I would know if I did in fact have a bunion. The painful boniness would give it away.*
Josh: Thanks for being so patient. It looks like we can do a governmental hardship deference for 4 months, but then you'd have to call back again then to change the program...."
Me: Yeah, I just can't pay this month. Next month, totally.
Josh: Ok. We could also put the account into forebearance for a month and you can start payments after that.
Me: Let's do that then.
Josh: Ok, let me just read this statement to you...
*statement read*
Me: Neato.
Josh: is there anything else I can help you with today?
Me: Paying off that loan would really help.
Josh: Ha ha, oken then. Have a nice day.
Dry bastard, that Josh.
In the meantime, I work 2-5 hours a day for $10 an hour about 5 days out of the week, leaving me plenty of time to think, plan, pack, clean, write, watch, swim, hike, laugh, growl, shop, smoke, nap, talk, and so on. If you're in my same boat, I will try to periodically recommend a random movie suitable for lazy afternoon viewing. Today: Ghostbusters 2. Surprisingly awesomely. Seriously. Sigourney Weaver is more manly and less hot than in the 1st one, but she attempts to make up for it in her bathtub scene. Bill Murray is my hero. Half-way convincing special effects be damned, this movie has psycho-reactive goo, Peter McNicol with the best accent ever, and some Wilson Pickett. I'll stop here before you start thinking I'm obsessed.
